Home alone

Well it’s just 10am and I am already here on my own. Everyone has gone. I am very upset, not least because Simon couldn’t even spare me half an hour for our normal cup of coffee. It has been all rush, rush, panic. He got up, walked the dogs (shorter walk than normal) packed and then rushed out.
He said he was in a rush because he got up later than he wanted. I’m not sure why he didn’t set the alarm as normal if there was such a tight time schedule. I tried pointing out that he has actually got all day, but he couldn’t spare half an hour. Such is the hold they have over him. I end up feeling like he can’t wait to get away.
It’ll be a whole different story come Monday. They will be forgotten and he probably won’t even speak to any of them for months. I think it’s time he remembers who is the one who is always here for him. His family pretend to be close but it’s just a sham. How can you be close if you never see or speak to people? I can’t figure it out.
Some of you may wonder why I get so upset about this. It certainly isn’t because he is away. He was away a few weeks back at a car show and I don’t mind that. What I mind is that he chooses, even if very rarely, to spend time with them. We don’t get enough time together as it is. We can’t even have a holiday this year as Coralie is so busy with baby Evan.
The reason for this upset? It’s a very long story, which some of you already know in full. I don’t get along with them. A whole host of reasons. I’ll give you one example. The day Simon and I went to buy my engagement ring we were standing in his mothers kitchen before we left, she said to Simon, in front of me, “ don’t spend too much of your money, it probably won’t last”.
How appalling is that? What upset me even more at the time and I think still colours my feelings, is the fact that Simon never stood up to her, never defended me in anyway. He should have told her where to go. I have never forgotten that comment.
I think basically, I wasn’t considered good enough for them. She used to carry on about a previous girl friend of Simons called Elaine. In the early days she made a point of saying how well Elaine was doing and what a nice girl she was, always in front of me. That isn’t nice. I hope I would never do such things to any of my own children’s partners.
Anyway, there is loads and loads more, too much to mention, but I think it shows why I get so upset when Simon goes away to these things. I don’t mind him spending an odd day with them, so much, but when he goes to these Dorset things and I am left here by myself it brings it all back. I don’t understand why suddenly there is such a need for this family get together that you have to rush out the door without even time for a coffee or barely a kiss goodbye.
I have only touched on the very surface here, but I am going to write down some of this stuff to keep for myself in my computer diary; it does help sometimes to write feelings down. I know some of you will think that I am moaning, feeling sorry for myself and maybe some of you think that I am not being fair, but remember you don’t know all the crap that has gone on.
Please also remember that my blog is the place where I write stuff to get it out of my system. It’s not always light hearted. I write it down here or in my diary and it is a sort of release. If you don't like the tone of my writing then....don't read.......this is for me. If I hadn’t sat and written this then I would have been brooding on it all day. I’m still very upset but at least I can now get on with other stuff.