Well here I am back again! I got home about half past five; Simon as usual was late despite promising that he would pick me up at 5pm. He phoned a few minutes past to say he was just leaving school. When I asked him why he was late he said “shit happens”. I HATE that expression it sounds like something a teenager would say. Actually, I think it’s time he learnt that “shit happens” when you really p*** O** your wife! I HATE anyone not being on time. There is no excuse unless someone has died, OK? Can you tell I was annoyed?
Fortunately dinner only took half an hour tops to get ready and he went straight to his barn so I have a nice quiet evening. I have watched Eastenders and spoken to my Dad on the phone. I am hoping to get up to see him with Coralie and baby Evan on Friday; if we can organise something with the car. I haven’t seen him or my Mum since we had our Christmas dinner on the 21st of December. I am trying hard not to let myself feel guilty about this. I have so many other things to do and without the car it is hard. (Simon needs the car every day for school now).
I have decided that I am not going to go as much this year anyway. I know that probably sounds bad. I was going every week for most of last year, although that tapered off towards the year end. It is just way too much for my own sanity. I find it very upsetting to see my Mum and it is also hard as I am usually there for 3 hours or more with my Dad and that is just too long for me (and her, I think). It would be easier if I lived closer and could just pop in for an hour. Each time I visit, I come home and it takes me all evening to de-stress and get myself cheered up. I think I have to go less often to protect myself. The trouble is this situation could potentially go on for years and that thought is just unbearable.
As this year passes it will become more difficult anyway as Coralie returns to work at the end of March for 2 days a week and I will be having Evan. I also have Ellie on and off too. It’s not too bad taking Evan at the moment, as we hopefully will on Friday. He doesn’t understand and he doesn’t crawl or walk so is happy to be held.
In Ellies case, although I would like her to see her Great Nanny for a few minutes on the odd occasion, I think that is all we would be able to do. You can’t hold Ellie any longer, she wants to get down and play and that would be a health and safety issue for her and the patients. Not to mention the fact that as she gets older, I am not sure it is the right kind of place to take her. It’s just so sad, but that is how it is.
Anyway, let’s talk allotments! I went to Coralies on the bus and we set off as soon as I got there. We did quite well. We raked over the first bed, moved some of the compost to the new heap and cut back all the blackberry brambles that were taking over a large patch. That was hard work! I have got several small splinters – thorns stuck in my fingers! I was just wearing some old mittens and they clearly are not up to the job! I think some proper gardening gloves may be an essential purchase!
We need to dig up the roots but that may be Simon’s job as it looks quite hard. The ground was really too wet today to do any digging. I have 2 more books waiting to be collected from the library so I will get them tomorrow. Hopefully some of the stuff we ordered should be here soon.
I won’t be around during the day tomorrow as I have my little Ellie all day. I’m looking forward to that. Right, I think I shall go and have a bath now as I am a bit achy. I was going to do some Wii Fit but I think I am too tired. Hopefully the extra exercise at the allotment will be enough to compensate.
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