Well I had a fairly good day yesterday. The weather was absolutely terrible again. There were very high winds and torrential rain for over 24 hours. I had to drive to Stevenage in it, but fortunately the rain stopped about half way there. I went on my own as Simon had a lot of preparation work to do for the interviews that he has this week.
It took a long while to get to Stevenage owing to some road works before I even got out of Peterborough and then slow traffic because of the weather. When I got to Dads there was only time for a very quick cup of coffee before leaving for the hospital.
Mum has had a few bad days and actually collapsed on Thursday. She seemed to be quite good yesterday though. She was agitated when we arrived and didn't want to sit still. Usually on a Sunday the staff do karaoke but as today is St Patricks day they had decided to do an early celebration.
They really do try very hard for the patients to make things nice. They had decorated with green balloons and paper. There was Irish music and dancing and a lovely buffet tea with everything from sandwiches and cakes to green jelly and ice cream!
We managed to persuade Mum to go into the main room and she seemed to enjoy it although she only ate a couple of mouth fulls of food and they were a real struggle to get down her. Her weight is becoming quite a worry as she is now under 6 stone.
I got her up for a little jig around to the music and she got quite hot so I took her cardigan off for her. I glanced across at my Dad who was sitting in the corner and he had tears pouring down his face. He told me afterwards that he was upset because she looked so thin and frail and that it was more obvious without her cardi.
He has all these thoughts going round in his head all the time and finds it hard to sleep. He still can't accept what has happened to Mum. He kept saying to me that he keeps thinking all the time what else can he do to get her to eat? The thing is there is nothing, but he cant accept that. I told him just to continue doing what he is. He takes in little bits and pieces every day that he knows she always enjoyed and he tries so hard to get her to eat them. That's all he can do.
The thing that he won't accept is that not eating is all part of Alzheimer's. It is 2 fold; the patients body no longer recognises the hunger pangs that a normal person would feel, so they don't know that they are hungry. Secondly they simply forget how to eat. If you give Mum a cake, you've got to literally put it in her hand. Then she will stare at it and you say "eat it Mum". And she will try to put it down, so you say "no Mum put it in y0ur mouth and eat" and she will say "which end"? "Any end, just eat, look like this" and you show her.
She will say something like.... "should I put it in a cup", or "do you want it", or "I need a pair of trousers" or anything really strange, but she doesn't understand that you want her to put it in her mouth and eat. All the while she is usually picking bits off and dropping them on the floor or in her lap. She doesn't know where her mouth is. It is very sad, but it is another part of Alzheimer's.
Anyway, we had a fairly good visit until it was time to go. I was just giving her a kiss and Dad who was standing behind me, was lashed out at by Betty another patient. Unfortunately he ended up on the floor twisting his bad leg. Betty, bless her, is another patient like Mum and she can be really nice but she is also sometimes quite violent. I don't think she meant any harm, I think she may not have wanted him to leave.
The staff all rushed across and got him up while I tried to keep Mum out of the way. He was clearly in a lot of pain but he didn't want any fuss he just wanted to get out of there I think. So we said our goodbyes and I got him in the car. He assured me that he thought no harm was done and the leg didn't seem to be any more painful than it had been. He was so upset about Mum though and we sat in the car with him sobbing his heart out. It's very hard to watch your Dad in such a state, especially when you can't do anything. If I could do anything to make my Mum right then I would. But there is nothing.
I got him home and offered to stay with him until today but he really didn't want me to, so I had no choice but to leave him. I got home in a hour which was good and Simon had dinner under way so I was able to go and have a cup of coffee in peace and get myself together.
I never let myself get upset when Dad is upset as it wouldn't help, but it's a different story when I get home. Anyway, I phoned him later in the evening and he said he was OK. I have told him to make sure that he phones his Doctor this morning to see if he has the X-ray results yet. He had them done last Monday but they told him it would be 10-14 days for the results. Goodness only knows why it should take so long. Anyway, I told him to ring just in case they come in early.
Today, Peterborough is dry and fairly mild with no rain, so that's good. I have already cleaned the bathroom and kitchen. I have the normal washing and ironing to do and hoovering. The house is quite tidy so I am hoping to get plenty of "me" time. I want to get on with my embroidery if I can. I did some last night and it is progressing slowly.
I am going to walk up to the local shops later as I have some competition entries to post off. I am also going to try and do some family history stuff today too. I suppose I should get to it now and do some jobs!
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